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Who Killed Al Pastor?

Why andi’m burnin’ up what’s the reason for? Caz Dolowicz speculates. An Albanian pizza man in Astoria? A Boro Park bicylist? A Canarsie courier? A Dominican ecstatic? An Ecuadorian mope? The oldest living Finn in Sunset Park? That guy on the G train who argues we should refer  to The Georgia as we do the Gambia or the Gamby Hale Girls? The horse’s  ass Clinton Hill blogger who can’t recognize a Honduran flag hanging from a Hispanic ‘hood fire escape? The inept illusionist who pretends there’s even one good Indian joint in Brooklyn? The Jewish fishmonger  who told a Jamaican how to make jerk porgy?! The Great Koonaklaster of the Knights of Columbus Council 497 out in Flatlands? The counterman at the King of Latvia deli on Avenue U? A mensch— and mendicant— and unpublished poet living in a Midwood rooming house? The Nigerian movie vendor on Nostrand? An Ovington Avenue psychic? The Pakistani who paints cricket players in Paerdegat Basin Park? That Quentin Road bookie— now he’s a fucking kook! The Russian dude walking shirtless on the Rockaway Beach boardwalk even as we speak? The serious young man in search of a single Senegalese restaurant in Brooklyn that’s not a goddamn steam table joint? The shivering white sculptor mysteriously wearing only a  Trini To The Bone t-shirt in her unheated Mott Haven loft?  A former university professor and translator (of Ulysses most notably) from Uzbekistan? One of a growing number of St. Vincentians— none of whom live in Windsor Terrace, by the way— who do not, in fact, find the West Indian Day parade validating? The natural born Welshman and retired ILWU member now living  in South Williamsburg who wonders wsandal paradeeek in, week out where the hell will Kevin Walsh land next? (He knows where to find Suzanne Wasserman.) The Yemeni bodega owner in Bed-Stuy who’s become a big admirer of Yellowman over the years? Larry Zukofsky, last zealous Knicks fan on Avenue Z, and what the fuck is his problem anyway?

Caz Dolowicz was born on Sands Street in 1923 and grew up to the tunes of Al Jolson, Sophie Tucker, Louis Armstrong and the Sons of the Pioneers; Bing Crosby he could take or leave mostly leave, though his vocal on the Paul Whiteman Orchestra’s “Mississippi Mud” (with Bix and Tram) from 1928 is hot enough.

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