Feed on

death ties offSalvador Hassan O’Leary, alias The Shoe Store Kid, alias Wrong Way Marv, alias After Birth Leary, alias Slunky Pete, alias Placenta Juan, alias K.Y. Ahmed, alias El Chinche, alias El Culito, etc., etc., for fifteen solid pages of dossier, first tangled with the law in NYC where he was traveling with a character known to the Brooklyn police as Blubber Wilson, who hustled his goof ball money shaking down fetishists in shoe stores. Hasaan was charged with third degree extortion and conspiracy to impersonate a police officer. He had learnt the shake man’s Number One rule: D.T.— Ditch Tin— which corresponds to the pilot’s K.F.S.— Keep Flying Speed… As the vigilante puts it: “If you get a rumble, kid, ditch your piece of tim if you have to swallow it.” So they didn’t bust him with a queer badge. Hasaan testified against Wilson, who drew Pen Indef (longest possible under New York law for misdemeanor conviction Nominally an indefinite sentence, it means three years in Riker’s Island.) Hasaan’s case was nolle prossed. “I’d have drawn a nickel,” Hasaan said, “if I hadn’t met a decent cop.” — William S. Burroughs, from Naked Lunch (The Restored Text)

LWIW, he thought. The original slogan, “If  It Looks Weird, It Is Weird,” had been partTresspassing of a nationwide public service ad campaign that appeared three weeks after the Horribleness as a reminder to all citizens to keep their eyes open for potential terrorists. The ads were inescapable— they appeared on adscreens, four-ways, subways, sidewalks, radios— the jingle blasting into millions of ears at least twenty or thirty times a day. The jingle itself reached number one on the charts. It became such a part of the national conciousness and language that it was eventually condensed to “Looks Weird, Is Weird” (or, as some of the Fashionistas preferred, “Looking Weird Is Weird”) before becoming acronized and, in time, replacing “good-bye” as a standard salutation. — Jim Knipfel, from Unplugging Philco

Photograph, “Downtown Brooklyn Medical Group” by Brian Berger; memorandum courtesy of Old New Utrecht Historical Society. Be governed accordingly.

Leave a Reply