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Maspeth Is For Lovers, Or

con todoMy Name Is Archer, Toad Archer. From the bar at O’Neill’s, 64-31 53rd Drive & really, I defy anyone who didn’t grow up in central Queens to find the joint their first time without a map. Some of ya’ll have heard a lot lately about Maspeth– it’s the next something, I ain’t sure what, but as long as I can drink, eat great pizza & put $2 on Ditmars Folly in the 5th at Aqueduct all in the same room, who gives a fuck who’s out there driving around in circles? That’s the beauty of Queens, & also it’s greatest problem: nobody knows a goddamn thing. Oh well, a few do, of course, but most of them ain’t talking, let alone talking to each other. It’s all very territorial out here but unlike in Brooklyn or the Bronx, where– despite the ig’nance of most so-called “Brooklyn” (sic) blogs– there’s real pride in going all-borough. In Queens it seems the majority of folks are claiming their turf (Little Neck, Bayside, Floral Park, Hollis, St. Alban’s, “luxury” Long Island City, etc) & hoping… I dunno what, except that if Willets Point or Jaeven mo’ con todomaica are the next Upper West Side or Williamsburg I’ll eat Borough President Helen Marshall’s ___ in the Safari Room of the Kew Motor Inn. I know reporters aren’t supposed to become part of the story but as everyone who’s read Wayne Barrett & Jack Newfield’s Queens-centric City For Sale knows, sometimes it happens. Shout out to Jimmy Breslin: what’s great homie?

sneaker warsBZA doesn’t know what to say! Except this: while few can fault Toad’s word game, for all the years he’s been behind the notepad & the lens, he’s not quite WWIB’s most, uh… reliable photographer. That said, the dude gets up but his photo editor wouldn’t mind his getting it up in better light once in a while either. So it is I’ve slugged these, from top to bottom: Archer Stores Has Everything For The Home And Car, Jackson Heights; Welcome to Broad Channel; Ya’ll Don’t Have To Be My Rich To Be My Girl In Richmond Hill (But You Do Have To Focus.)

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