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black is the colorDiagnosis by BZA: Have ya’ll heard the news? There’s good blogging tonight! Where? It could be many places– the streets of Brooklyn, most of ‘em anyway, are still free– but it probably ain’t. Last August 18, it was Found In Brooklyn who had the rebop. It was a good story, nothing crazy (although there’s not enough bad that can be said about the absurdity, & insult, of 340 Bond Street) & lots of good stories followed. I forget who it was here gave FIB the nod– if i had to guess I’d say it was Toad, since his Grandmother lives nearb) but for people who pay attention– it was no big deal. They see lots of stuff. Self-proclaimed “real estate” bloggers in Carroll Gardens, Clinton Hill, Red Hook, Fucking “Dumbo,” Williamsburg, Bushwick or even the Toxic Gold Coast of Gowanus? I’m not sure how or what they see, this gal’s peepers just don’t seem to work like that. While it’s not all bad, for some reason, I just can’t get all those Spanish voices out of my head, or the sounds of hip-hop, salsa, bachata & even oldies or the Italian radio station they keep on at John & Frank’s on Columbia Street. Likewise, the sight of the workers at Crusader Candle on Nevins (good) or the Municipal Solid Waste trucks lined up between Smith & Clinton Streets in Red Hook. (Would you like two tons of trash from Taos with your “soccer taco,” sir?) The list goes on forever, a necessary counterweight to the constant falsehoods & lies of omission these “witless jackoffs”– to use Walter Benjamin’s pithy term– purvey… & for what? Self-aggrandizement? The approbation of the ignorant? Invitations to real estate cocktail parties? To further whitewash a history that– despite the great volume of blood, sweat, tears & jizz splattering Our Fair (Fucked) Borough over the last 400 years– has barely been acknowledged? Brooklyn Dodger tokenism doesn’t count for shit in this discussion; if old-timers like the great Caz Dolowicz wanna talk Washington Park then by all means, my man, please do.

Angry M.F. Fisher? She speaks the loving tongue: There’s a new botanica in town! The corner of Columbia & Union, it’s called the Phoenix. Further up the block, fight your way past construction hell to the groovy Dominican joint called Mucho Gusto– skip all the fake ethnic crap in between & tell ‘em that Angry M.F. sent you. Following up on notes from an old diario, the Spanish joint at the corner of Columbia & Lorraine– a favorite of Red Hook library regulars– is still closed, not that it garnered any attention in the years it was open. Was Red Hook too “ghetto” then, before the grocery bloggers & “industrial” waterfront slummers? It’s odd, is it not, how working Brooklyn industry in 2008, both on the water & inland, seems not tsweet lorraineo attract the same attention. As for their attentions in (even) 1998? Excuse me, I forgot: the weren’t even fucking here. (Yet now they are Authority.) Likewise, I seem to have forgotten this too: when does the Toxic Whole Foods open again, or has the Texas propaganda machine & their duped (& douchebag) choir run out of convenient lies to peddle? Gracias for any “exclusive” updates, ya’ll.

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